Eric

10:30 am: Jen's Stuff
I've been meaning to write about Jen for a long time now, but in
an attempt to get over writer's block, I will instead start by
writing about Jen's stuff.

Suffice it to say that I have never loved anyone as much as I
loved Jen, and that at one time the feelings were mutual. Because
of that I enjoyed giving gifts with the intention that we would
share them forever. It's that idyllic mindset that comes with being
in love, when every doubt melts away and you JUST KNOW that this is
the person you were meant to be with.

And so it goes, in no particular order, here are explanations of
some of the things Jen and I shared, since they are the most
obvious remains of the past joys we experienced.

coffee grinder -
I was excited to share gourmet coffee with Jen,
and looked around to find the cool chrome design instead of black
or white. Coffee always tasted better at Jen's place, I don't
know why. Once, early in our dating, I came early on a weekend
day with coffee, grinder, and pop-tarts. I still remember stopping
at the convenience store on the way because I needed gas, and hoping
they had pop-tarts, one of my favorite things to accompany coffee.

bong -
yes, it's a bong. There's a story here. Jen used to have a
Cartman hookah (South Park character) with her college roommate, and
regretted giving it away. This one was ordered from Amsterdam, and
there was no choice in color. I just knew that it doubled as a
flower vase, and looked so stylish it needn't belie it's other use.
We were so happy to discover the cobalt blue color, it resulted in
uncontrolled giggling at what a beautiful object d'art it made.

bean bag chair -
Before Jen had furniture, I racked my brain over
some way to provide temporary living room seating. At first
camping chairs came to mind. But it turned out I had this bean
bag chair already. The only problem was it was a little bit flat.
So we ended up struggling for quite some time to get the zipper
open, and finally when it did, were able to stuff it wity styrofoam
peanuts to make it more comfortable. There were nights when we
watched entire movies attempting to 'share' the beanbag!

candles -
the purple and green square candles I made as a gift for
Jen. They did not always burn the way we wanted, so they became
just decoration for one of the bookshelves. I liked to think they
were "too good to burn." I STILL have some candles from a large
assortment we picked out at Costco with my mother one time. They
became known as the Jen candles. Their claim was how pure they
burned, using a special wax, and how cleanly the wicks burned.
Nothing could be farther from the truth. They sputtered, the flames
got incredibly high, and the wax dripped like crazy. Don't believe
what you read on packagaing!

wizard figurines -
I found these at the dollar store, one of my
favorite places to shop near Jen's neighborhood, not only for the
bargains, but because you could find useful stuff there for
decorating, craft projects, and there was always SOMETHING you
could make use of every visit. I placed the wizard figurines in
the corners of the shower, where there were little shelf spaces.
One day Jen finally noticed them, and apparently they gave her
quite a scare! I just thought they fit with a theme that seemed
to pervade Jen's movie collection, that of magic, ghosts, and the
supernatural. It's odd that she intentionally put off watching
the Lord of the Rings movie in order to wait and see all three of
them in sequence. Another one of those sad things that never got
to happen. And if it weren't for her enthusiasm over Lord of the
Rings, I may never have bothered taking an interest. I'm glad I
did.

ashtray -
a dollar store find. Jen was using something not even
designed as an ashtray, so I found this one that matched the color
scheme of the living room - green! Plus it had that cool sandblasted
look to it.

photos -
there is a set of photos from our LA trip that I would love
to copy from negatives, especially the shots by picnic tables, which
was possibly the most peaceful place on Earth. I had always
imagined that if there was a Heaven, if there was one place you could
spend eternity, this would be it. Gainey vineyards, where silent
glider planes could be seen overhead landing nearby. Where you
could go into the vineyard and sample the different grape varieties
the wines came from.

fake plants -
Once we got to decorating Jen's apartment, I went on
a mission to find some essentials. There were fake plants which
really added a good look to the place, plus you couldn't kill them
by over or underwatering. Jen found it hilarious to leave the price
tags on the plants, making it obvious they were fake. I just love
her sense of humor!

pillar -
there was also this white plaster pillar to hold plants.
At one point we kept a carved Halloween pumpkin on it. I think it
was the only time I ever carved a pumpkin with someone, and really
made it feel like we were family, a sense of home. Ironically the
very things she found attractive about theatre... the sense of
family, the bond developed amongst castmembers.

painting -
there is a somewhat hideous painting that looks vaguely
like a giant cat (I think) which I painted. It has lots of colors.
I'm not sure it's very good, but I wanted to have something there
of my own creation to help decorate the walls. I think we kept it
behind the pillar at one point so you didn't HAVE to look at it.

CDs -
I burned many CDs for Jen of some music I thought was the
very best of it's kind. Especially all the Jonatha Brooke and
Alison Krauss, both of whom we got to see live in concert. The
Alison Krauss show was so good, we were happy days afterwards
just from how beautiful an experience it was. I can say that
about almost all the experiences I had with Jen - they were the
very best of my life. Somehow my self-esteem was completely in
the right place whenever I was with Jen, she just made everything
seem the way it was meant to be.

cigar box -
this was from the Leaf and Bean coffeeshop, where I
used to rehearse with Dave Pahanish. It might have been our second
or third date when I came to visit Jen at Houlihan's on the way to
practice. She was supposed to drive South on 19 to come see us at
the coffee shop. For some reason it was quite farther than either
of us had expected, so she turned back and gave up, while I stayed
there waiting and waiting. Anyway the cigar box was sold there for
cheap (since it was empty) and was a much better-looking version of
the same box I have, since hers was varnished. We love our boxes.

wine glasses -
from the Gainey Vineyards, a reminder of the most
perfect day in California wine country, thanks to my sister Tia
for taking us there. There was also a Bavarian village along the
way that looked like the whole place was from a Christmas card, or
gingerbread house. We got to stop there briefly but not as long as
we would have liked. It would have been great to return and stay in
a bed and breakfast or lodge.

beer can -
there is a can of beer that Jen kept on a display rack on
the wall, which I gave to her on the Gateway Clipper. It was from
the band's dressing room. We first met on the boat during a break
between sets, and at least for me, it was love at first sight. I
have always found boats to be romantic, so that must have been part
of it. I remembered almost everything about our brief conversation
including the fact that she was an actress and waitress. I never
would have guessed that much later we would meet again and hit it
off so well.

DVDs
moulin rouge - our very first date together we went to the movie
Moulin Rouge, which was quite the spectacle. I think it
emcompassed all we loved about music, theatre, and show
business in general, including the full range of drama and
emotions. I never would have guessed that it would parallel
our story as lovers, the "penniless sitar player" and the
"sparkling diamond" who dies in the end, to leave him behind
to tell their story. In all the world, there is no greater
thing but to love and be loved in return.

o brother where art thou - this was a wonderful period piece that
included great acoustic 'old timey' music by some of my new
favorite artists (Alison Krauss and Union Station) - I gave
Jen this movie as a present as part of a "movie themed" gift
that included a popcorn bucket to hold the movie, some of my
favorite coffee, favorite chocolate, and gift certificates
for Lowe's theatre, tied together with ribbons made of super-8
film (home movies of my sister from our childhood)

buffy - somehow we zeroed in on this show as our favorite TV
had to offer, it was the combination of drama, horror, and
comedy, switching gears unexpectedly, brilliant writing, and
characters that you had no choice but LOVE. When the show
started coming out on DVD, Jen realized she was in it for the
long haul, and started collecting the DVDs as they were released,
to add to her prodigious movie collection. Sometimes she felt
as though she were Buffy, whenever dressing in leather to go out
on the town. I used to tape reruns so we could catch up on the
story line, much like a soap opera.

absinthe, spoons, and glasses set -
these were ordered from Spain,
where it is legal to sell Absinthe. (Here it is legal to
posess and consume, just not buy or sell) There were at least
3 films we watched together that depicted this drink from the
turn of the century, apparently the most popular in Paris.
Moulin Rouge and From Hell were 2 of the movies, I thin another
was a vampire movie. We just had to try the absinthe ritual to
see what all the fuss was about 100 years ago. As it turns out,
the stuff tastes awful! Like concentrated licorice. And the
special ingredient has almost no perceptible effect given the
legal concentration, and the fact that in order to consume
enough to feel any effect, you would be too drunk to notice.
Never mind did I mention the horrible taste?!

espresso pot -
my grandmother used a similar aluminum pot to make stovetop espresso.
it's especially good with sweetened, condesned milk added. grandma
irene would eat the condensed milk right out of the can it was so
tasty. Jen and I enjoyed this kind of coffee when we wanted a
special treat, similar to the kind of coffee served at Kim's Coffee
Shop and Vietnamese restaurant. Eating Chinese was also a "special
thing" and the last meal I shared with Jen was at Mark Pi's at the
Galleria. We got to listen to a brass band playing Christmas
music and do some shopping in a cigar shop. This leads to a new
topic: food

There, that's a start. I should move on to writing about the time
we spent together, from what I can reconstruct from a diary I kept.
It is a strong enough testament to our love, just the fact that I
should decide to make a diary and scrapbook. Like a schoolgirl
with a crush, I couldn't help myself but fall utterly and completly
in love, and thus the diary was a natural consequence, something I
would never have done for anyone else.